Wednesday, February 23, 2011
In the strangest of places.
A huge weight has been lifted as we've started telling people about our decision to bring the girls home next year. I feel free. I feel confident in my decision. And best of all, I feel like it's all going to be ok. As the Grateful Dead once said, "Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right." I feel like by facing my fear of making my decision public I've been shown "the light", I've been shown that no matter what happens on this journey everything is going to be alright.
I've found love, support and confidence at every turn, sometimes from the strangest of places. I've encountered love and support from my mom, who I was sure would put up resistance. I've encountered encouragement and confidence from teachers and counselors in the school systems, who I assumed would tout the benefits of attending school and tell me about all of the terrible things that were going to happen to my children if they didn't. And of course my friends have offered their unwavering support.
It at first seemed silly that I needed the approval and support of so many people in order to feel confident and secure in my decision. Then I realized that it makes perfect sense. We can't do things on our own, we need each other. After all, loving, supporting, and holding one another up is what we're here for, right? I'm willing to take a risk, go out on a limb, and say that I can provide my children with a better and more well rounded education than the school system can. Nevertheless, I'm not kidding myself into believing that I can do it all alone. It's going to take help from everyone close to me. Help in the form of encouragement, confidence, ideas to guide me when my brain is fried, an ear to listen on the bad days, and a kind word to lend support on the days when I feel like a failure.
Every day I am presented with the opportunity to tell someone else of our decision. An opportunity to say "We're going to home school next year", and open myself up to a barrage of negativity, misunderstanding, questioning and ridicule. And each day I'm surprised by the love, support and encouragement. Each day I become more empowered as I'm lifted up, sometimes from the strangest of places.